The BNP: Standing Up For Multicultural Britain

Carlos Cortigllia is just “a poor boy, from a poor family”. I think I will stop quoting Queen there, as I don’t actually know about Carlos Corglia’s financial situations, and I don’t want to make any comparisons between Carlos Cortigliaros and the apartheid-supporting band. Born in South America, Carlos Catiglia represents an excellent rouse for the BNP-PR Department (which I imagine consists of one man, with short hair, sticking photos of Churchill and people that look vaguely like they may have once been a Muslim, to ‘newsletters’). He even has a foreign accent.

However, my greatest fear is that Carlos Cortignia is an Andrew Sachs-type character; a modern-day Manuel. The problem is, when Russell Brand inevitably sleeps with his grand-daughter (because he of course will, see the ‘Laws of Averages’) he will also have an undying urge to phone little Carlos Cortinglingdingados (probably sitting at home in a Sombrero, or something as equally foreign) and report to him on such actions. And as the tide of history turns towards popular public sympathy, not seen since a man called Gareth faked having a stutter, he will be crowned, King of London.

Now Carlos Cortio is of “Italian descent”…but we all know about their dogged history of people-hating, Roman saluting baldies. Born in Uruguay, he wouldn’t be the first fellow countrymen to court some minor public interest in recent times.

When Carlos Suarez-Cortiglia wins, which he of course will, I hope he implements his ‘British Jobs for British Workers’ policy immediately; without hesitation. The only problem is he’ll probably be the first to lose his newly-found employment. The London Mayoralty is a quintessentially British job, just look at Boris Johnson. Sorry Carlos Ciglia, but when you win, which you of course will, you’ll have to go. Whilst poor little Carlos Cortigliano will likewise be homeless, given another of his polices: British Houses for British People.

So when Carlos Corgia stands proud, the new King of London, (which he of course will) we, the voters, can likewise be proud, in defeating the BNP, by supporting them. One-Nil to Multiculturalism.

I will be helping Carlos Corligia win this election, not that he will need my help, and not so we can defeat the BNP. That would be too easy, and would mean we wouldn’t have met the lovely Carlos Cortigliaaaaaaaaaaaao. No, he has my vote; he’s offering free Tube and Train transport to all at the weekend. Although I think some blokes in Germany once offered free train rides…


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TSL - 02/05/2012