The Kony Con

The Invisible Children have been quietly making a comeback for some time now. They initially formed in 1970 when Paul Gadd had a vision; that vision later became Gary Glitter and The Invisible Children for their eponymous and infamous Orkney Isles tour ’72.

They split from Glitter after he pressed ahead with the release of ‘I’m the leader of the gang (I am)(** The ‘(I am)’ aspect was, of course, added to try and finally crack East Anglia). The Invisible Children hated the idea of a leader forcing them around and resigned with immediate effect.

Now, after 40 odd years of lying dormant, they are back.

Clearly inspired by Simon Cowell they are trying to make ‘Joseph Kony’ a star with their new line in film production.

Joseph Kony is not your normal X-Factor style contestant. Kony is a devout Christian. He is a family man happily married to 60 odd ladies with around 42 children. He believes God has asked him to establish Theocratic control in Uganda which he is doing so by bloodily enslaving Children (maybe his own as he does have a small platoon’s worth) to help him. Ironically ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ is his favourite commandment.

Oh and he can also sing (He does a mean version of Sham69’s ‘If The Kids Are United’ for example).

Now there is clearly a lot wrong with this. Kids make rubbish soldiers for one thing. I had to stop going Quaser Laser because they just spoil the ambience there.

To be honest you all know who he is don’t you? It’s all anyone has been talking about on Twitter and Facebook since The Invisible Children launched their film which they didn’t make for money or acclaim.

It’s probably the biggest social media event in the UK since last Summer’s riots when thousands came out in support of ‘shooting rioters’, ‘sending in the Army’, ‘Bringing back hanging’, ‘blaming blacks’, and ‘supporting the EDL.’

So yes frankly it does seem a bit odd that so many people have developed a Social Conscience. Has Marijuana finally been legalised? Is that why everyone’s got a new bee in their bonnets?

I actually find it quite disheartening that it’s taken something like this to stir the Great British Public. I find it quite sad that this campaign won’t make any difference at all – yes I’m apathetic but I’m also right.

I find it quite sickening however that it will also be one of the few times that they go on record to care. Where have you been hiding?

Atrocities like this are happening every day across the world. Syria and Zimbabwe are never touched upon, Sri Lanka too. Famine in East Africa comes on the 6 o’clock news and we turn over because we’re eating our teas.

Domestically we have the Homeless that you cross the road to avoid, the poverty-stricken broken families that the Tories you probably voted for keep kicking while they’re down.

The British Government have entered two illegal wars (with potentially more pending) that go unnoticed by the public and the media.

Just look at our friends at The Guardian for example. Their website is littered with emotional almost imperialist pieces about the Brave British troops in Afghanistan. Today a further 6 soldiers have been announced as missing in action. This is horrible yes but how often do you hear about Afghan losses? The Civilian death toll for 2011 alone was 3021; a record high for this war.

Obviously I am being cynical. The plan, on paper, deserves applause and the wristbands are so in at the moment (although questions are already being asked about who are The Invisible Children even though I have just confirmed that they are middle aged ex-glam rockers).

I’m glad you have developed a voice. I want you to keep it. But can you develop the vision too? That is the real challenge.

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