I’ve Read the Daily Mail So You Don’t Have To

That now globally-famous newspaper that provides us with golden nuggets of news, such as the now famous fact that Polish builders will give you cancer, whilst Spanish Oranges (or a naranja) has most certainly stolen your job. If only Lady Di was still around…

Recently, it became the most viewed newspaper website in the WORLD! I know, an amazing feat of course, but you’ll notice I said “viewed”, not “read” (and if you didn’t, feel free to re-read the last sentence or two; but if you now find yourself re-reading this for the second time feel free to “read” on; not just “view” on). Yes, so “viewed”….for how else can one look at pictures? Of course, ‘a picture paints a thousand words’; but even the most ardent of illiterate right-wingers (for they’re all stupid…see the Daily Mail’s own article). A photo requires very little mental strain.

And that’s just what the Daily Mail website is. Now I said ‘I’ve read the Daily Mail so you don’t have to’; I may be the next Ghandi…a modern-martyr. But I am also just a mere human. Admitting that I have dared to view such pages makes me feel cheap and dirty. It’s like admitting that you watched the last series of Celebrity Big Brother, where you became heavily sexually-aroused to the point of throbbing pain, at the delightful image of resident ‘Loose Woman’, Denise Welch, being “loose”; revealing her weather-worn, age-tempered tits. Her ‘Welch Rare Bits’ (cheers Ross) certainly painted more than one word.

And where would you find such a first-class ‘news’ coverage of this story (whilst the world crumbles into the horror of human suffering in Syria…who cares some bird has her tits out!)…the Daily Mail, of course!

Yes I had a little look at it. But then what else was there to do. The Daily Mail website is just a mirage of images. Quite simply this is all it is. A side panel of varying images, of varying women, of varying size, of varying fame, in varying garments…be them bikinis (a personal favourite of mine and the Mail website’s editor…apparently), tight-fitting dresses, or snapshots of varying bits of flesh described by their position (“side-boob”, “up-skirt”). Yet this comes at a time where the newspaper complains about the sexualisation of society.

Something just don’t seem right. A wholeheartedly and overtly sexist tone can be noted. The Daily Mail…where’s the Daily Femail?

TSL - 22/02/2012
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