I would hope that you are all familiar with Michael Gove. I have included a picture below just in case. Normally I would describe the old Tory with his ill-fitting inside-out vomit inducing face in such a manner that you would already hate him. But not today. I want you to make your own opinions on him before we continue. Ready? OK/GO.

Now. Michael Gove is the current Conservative Secretary for Education. This isn’t about that (although why you’d put someone who’s very surname is a grammatical error in charge of education is beyond me [it should be ‘Michael gave…’]).

The other day he wrote a letter on my behalf (and yours) to the Conservative ‘Culture’ Secretary saying how lovely it would be if the taxpayer bought The Queen a boat for one of her birthdays or something.

Personally I have never bought a boat. Yet I imagine them…

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